Through the Veins of History

Dust had settled over everything

2012-01-20T00:53:00.000+08:00

Haha I used to top the class for Chemistry. I second-ed the cohort for an A Math paper before (suck it Vietnamese geniuses). Several times I've thought I was smart. That is, until proof in black and white said otherwise.
WELL FUCK THAT
I guess Raffles never was meant to be. I tried to DSA and even my results don't want me there. So, it is a sign that things will get better.
And someday, when I'm rich and famous, I'll look back and say,"What O levels?"

So recovery wasn't as easy as it took for the sun to shine but I got through it. I'm excited for school, wherever I go to. I'm just so damn it excited about it. Everything will be so different. The cheering of a school that would sound equivalent to a small group of Cedarians cheering. NDP will see no jumping and running and screaming and singing like we actually love Singapore. And best of all, Valentine's Day will no longer get me diabetic. Fuck I will miss Cedar. I will miss the whole spirit that died in my batch or hopefully, still lingers in the next. I miss the constant reminders of tests/examination dates. I complain so much about everything in Cedar that I actually love every bit that I've ranted about. I will definitely miss those lame nerd jokes from teachers and attempts to wake the class and stupid stupid scandals and even Mr Eng's awesome screaming ability that can be heard throughout the classroom block. I will miss screaming for Hannah across the rectangle and I will certainly miss running from the rain and getting all soaking wet then laughing about it. I will miss sleeping in lectures and doing Mr Ang's Math papers like I'm a fucking genius and get everything right. I loved it when Ms Thang spewed vulgarities and actually tried to hide them. She made Physics awesome. Mrs Lim should be proud of us because we were only 0.5 away from ONE POINT ZERO. I will miss her stupid dancing to music we all actually hate. She made everything have a lesson. God knows why. She made me realise that no one is going to fucking care about whether you intend to change or not. No one will care if you don't make it. She showed me that. She also showed me that band was the best thing that had ever happened to me in Cedar. And then there is Mrs Hon. I still fucking hate her but what the heck, she made me bond very well with the class because of that, so fuck it, thanks. The Cedar Umbridge. You were sent from the MOE, tried manipulating us with stupid shits and most of the time, wore pink. You crazy bitch. Then there are my friends. I miss every one of those fuckers. I am going to miss everything about Cedar. Every fucking thing.

Have a spin of my propeller

2012-01-07T02:15:00.000+08:00

wasting time isnt time wasted when i have fun

2011-12-23T11:53:00.001+08:00

So here it is, it has been a really long time since i bothered to write on this blog. Basically things have had it's ups and downs and here is the summary of it all.

1. O Levels is over and has been that way for over a month.
2. I have been having nightmares regarding my results.
3. I am working at ion orchard and it had made me miss a few things that are rather important in my life.
4. Aliza has officially left the country.
5. I couldn't send her off because of work.
6. I miss her.

Okay i officially failed with trying to find fifteen points that are of relevance and interest in my life.

Estimation Disappointment

2011-11-06T04:06:00.000+08:00

Alright so here it is, other than Higher Malay.

English
I screwed up the comprehension. I seriously hope that my Oral, Summary and Compositions will pull me up.

Maths/Amaths
Pretty okay. Unless bell curve becomes 100%

Chem
Not so screwed

Phy
Lost 15 marks :|

Bio
Better than expected but still depending on Paper 1 to get my A1.

SSGE
The best humanities paper I've sat for in 4 years.

Embarrassing Embarrassing

2011-08-27T18:06:00.000+08:00

I just realised I have other blogs under other emails. I can't access those blogs because I don't know the password to my email! Those blogs are embarrassing. Immature 11-12 year old Adilah. Facepalm.
I need a hacker. Stupid internet. Stupid dumb 11 year old Adilah.

Prelim 2 ended. Temporary freedom
O levels in in 50+ more days :o scared shitless
Hari Raya is in a few more days

I just read Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol and it piqued my interesting in Noetic Science

Part 2

2011-08-27T17:10:00.000+08:00

I ignored her. I basically shunned her from my life. It was one of the greatest things I ever did in my life.

So life continued after that and I didn't care about her anymore. However, sometimes, I glance at her just to know how she's doing. I mean, we've been friends for so long. Weirdly, I feel happy and contented when I see her happy and contented. It was like a mutual feeling. You've left me, I've left you. We're both happy and yet, we both still remember out past.

Part 1

2011-08-12T00:24:00.001+08:00

I had a friend. She was a really good friend. She listened to everything I had to say. She listened intently to all my problems. She gave me pertinent advice to overcome some of the many obstacles I faced. All in all, she was there for me when I needed her.

Unfortunately, nothing is ever perfect. I was rather delusional and the whole description regarding her loyalty may be an exaggeration. I always dreamt of us as best friends. She was always the one that I wanted to be with all the time whether it was to eat lunch, sing a few tunes or even have that moment of serenity and silence where nothing else mattered. She was that one entity that could make me or break me. True enough, she broke me. She broke me into many pieces like glass shattering at high frequencies.

The light always shined on her. I represented nothing more than a mere shadow. She took the stage all the time, the limelight reflecting the blue pigments in her iris. Her golden hair always swayed with the wind and to top it all off, her personality was to die for. Everyone wanted to be her. Every living soul wanted parts of her to conjoin with their bodies. Everyone except me. All I wanted was to be a part of her life. Her perfect little barbie doll life.

Until one day, I got tired of everything.

(all characters in this little story were made up. but the story itself, is pretty true)

2011-08-11T22:56:00.001+08:00

IT'S PRELIMS AND I'M NOT PREPARED AND I'M STILL ONLINE LIKE A FREAKING BOSS THAT'S AFRAID TO FAIL
what the hell am i doing with my life

Hope you enjoy it this time

2011-07-16T23:06:00.000+08:00

Many things have been happening now. I am experiencing the plunge. I am losing focus in Math lessons because I do not understand it anymore. I have not been doing my homework regularly. I have been listless in class. So... what if I screw life up. I have no talent to help me become a musician, artist et cetera.
I don't feel anything anymore... Mrs Foo caught me using my handphone. I was just checking the time anyway. But it was so blatant and it looked like I was smsing so she just assumed. When she came up with her long speech of disappointment and how I'm making wrong decisions, I did not feel a thing. I did not feel annoyed, guilty, pissed or whatever. It was so weird. I just wanted her to get the fuck away so that I could do my work. I did not feel any thing...
Teachers don't really care about me.. I don't know why but I can sleep under their noses and they just ignore me ignoring them..

Made...In...China!!!!!!

2011-06-20T01:02:00.000+08:00

Go and die.
There's school tomorrow! Time for hell oh yeah. Haven't done my homework. Now question: what the hell have I been doing for the past 3 weeks. Ans: NOTHING. A1 for the intelligent life form. So it's almost one a.m and I am first going to research what a.m. means. So it means Ante Meridian. Okay, learnt something new today. I must honestly say that I tried studying but I didn't like it so it didn't last long. I will try my very best to finish up all my homework. I am going to help my aunt mark her papers after school tomorrow. I say school despite it actually being called extra class because it starts almost the same time and ends almost the same time as school! Extra class my butthole! I be @Cedar Girls' Secondary School tomorrow @8.00 scratching my asshole getting comfortable in the seat in Opal and learning Maths until 12.30 post meridian... See what I did there? Crap, exceeded by 2 minutes. Time to click 'Publish Post'.

Bonne soirée. Je suis désolé, je veux dire bonjour

2011-06-05T01:25:00.000+08:00

So basically, a lot of things have been going on, right and wrong, and a lot of things I have to do. It is the June holidays. I wasted a week already. I got back my results, 4As3Bs1C, kill me now. I deproved in 5 subjects. I sent in my application for dsa to rj. I didn't practice my horn today. I suck at the horn. I sound like crap. I'm studying tomorrow. I have school in the last week. I need to buck up my Eng. I haven't cleaned up my room yet. My brother brought back a kitten :D its bloody 1.24!? I lack sleep. I'm growing fat. Like a fat pig. I need to lose weight. I am working towards 8A1s. Okay, fat hope, but I am trying. I will do my very best.
xoxo

Pomplamoooseeee

2011-05-16T23:06:00.001+08:00

2011-05-08T20:04:00.000+08:00

Digimon Digital monsters
Digimon are the champions!
FUCK THE EXAMS

Jean-Baptiste Maunier

2011-03-31T22:48:00.000+08:00

I missed out too much being born in Singapore.

hello hello hello hello how low

2011-03-29T21:23:00.000+08:00

SYF is in a week. If we get another Silver, I will hide under the concert hall's seat and cry like a baby.

Home's a place where we've grown

2011-03-08T20:50:00.001+08:00

All of us are done for.

We all live in a beautiful world. Whether we see it as beautiful depends on our perspective and mindset.

I just received a text message that made me beam. Plastered smile I swear. On the other hand, I received a text message before that informing me that SYF is on the 6th of April. Plastered worry I swear. And early in the morning I received a text message about Physics. Didn't react much to it though. I see how text messages can affect your mood. Weird. Advancements in technology have made a significant difference in our lives though not all of us see it. Pity.

I'm reading a book titled "Paris Requiem". Pretty good book. Grabbed my attention in the first few pages when the whole scene reminds me of the scene described in "Perfume: Story of a Murderer". I made judgements but was not disappointed so that's good I guess. Unfortunately, I need to return the book in 4 days time. Pity.

So after 'extra lessons' today, I went to the library and managed to accomplish more than expected! Not a pity.

Many of those I know have a misconception that I am afraid of O levels. I'm not. I'm actually afraid of January 10/11.

I have a problem, I hate people I don't even know. That is wrong, isn't it?

Some people can really piss me off

2011-03-06T21:34:00.001+08:00

Even parents.

Boy did they have fun behind the sea

2011-03-06T01:26:00.000+08:00

I feel like I'm getting more muscular. Which does not look good. because as my muscles grow bigger, my fats still stay and with that, I just look fatter. Does it help that a majority of the world population finds fat ugly? I know I am ugly so I just don't want to get uglier.

Solution to this problem is to not go for jogging and P.E. But that is highly impossible because I use those periods to relive my childhood and have fun. I realise that all my laughs and smiles during jogging and P.E. are sincere. I feel really happy to be able to step out the students' graveyard and feel alive.

So the solution to that problem is to go on a diet. On the other hand, I need to eat. especially when I am hungry. Because in being a Biology student, I know what happens to the body if it lacks food et cetera. So I do not want any physical internal problems that I can't see and solve easily to rise.

Solution to that problem, is to not study Biology so that I don't get influenced by the things that I learn However, Biology is one of the subjects I take in school and I can't ignore it. It's one of my core subjects. And plus, it is good to learn about new things. Reason for that, knowledge is power. Also, Islam encourages us to know more, and since I have the opportunity, I should take it and treasure it.

And so, the solution to that problem, is to not go to school. Fuck it, living in Singapore is hell.

Think high,look low

2011-03-04T00:33:00.000+08:00

Somewhere down this road, I know I'll find a place. 'I do not care where I go. So it does not matter which road I take'. All my efforts to complete my homework with quality and hand in assignments on time will pay off sooner or later. I know that I will end up in a good school after Cedar. I know that I will get scholarships to further my studies in a good university. I know that I will be an opthamologist. I have set my goals. This road that I'm taking will get me there. I will get it. I know I will. I decide my own fate.

It does not matter if I am popular. It does not matter if my friends and families think I'm out of my mind. I don't care if I get unacceptable grades for now. I won't give attention to the popular and unpopular. Instead, I will follow the 'correct'. It doesn't matter if my social circle gets smaller and smaller because I know that it will get bigger in time. I don't care that my mum and dad are not the richest people in the world. I don't need money to have brains and knowledge. All the grudges society holds against me will be ignored.

I, however, have to stop procrastinating. I need to be driven and be self-directed. I have to keep myself motivated and not be demoralised by my unappealing grades or by others who are getting better grades. I will keep trying and make sure I understand everything that is being taught. I must clarify any doubts and also question what has not been questioned.

I will do my best. I can only say 'I' because that is the sad truth. It is I who determines my future. No one else will care where I go but me. So I will try and I will put in my 110% effort to achieve my goals in life.

We are not who you think we are

2011-02-27T18:13:00.000+08:00

I've decided to take some responsibilities in my life. There are so many things I wish I could do. I keep blaming myself for every failure however I did not realize that all I did was aggravate the situation further instead of taking measures to overcome my reckless problem. Things have not been going well. Everything I thought I did right end up to being the wrong things. When I try so hard to pick myself up, there will be something to bring me down. Somehow, I had a gut feeling the band will finally be able to get a breakthrough but I had to be disappointed in every way possible. Every single time I thought I can ace my tests but well, I think my point has been made clear. Everything's not right. Just not right at all.

I'm losing it. My purpose. My focus. My emotions. Everything. Why am I pushing myself so hard? I barely talk to anyone not because I don't have anyone to talk to but because, I ostracize myself away from everybody. I just want to be alone and never have I thought this would be a problem until now. I tell myself to study and when I finally get on to it, I fail because I get distracted and then I procrastinate. I keep reminding myself to sleep early and I think I have succeeded so far if early means 1 a.m. Things have gone through a drastic change and I cannot conform to the new ways of life. Is this a test from God or just a sign that I'm meant to give up?

That's why its forever

2011-02-18T19:06:00.000+08:00

You know the kind of feeling you get when you got the unexpected?
Vdays/Birthdays in Cedar are awesome.

Well, overwhelming heartache starts now. Sorry, more like brain-ache.

Vicious cycle

2011-01-30T21:40:00.000+08:00

Round and round we go. Never see an end. The circle never stops. You think you're back again. But you go on and on and on.
Sunday's ending now. Monday's coming. More tests, more teachers, more lessons, more band, more practices, more scolding, more pressure, more homework, more stress
Less time.

Love kills more people than coconuts

2011-01-14T19:28:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I feel like I need to do something really bad but in the end, I never get to doing it.

Sometimes, you make me want to kill you but in the end, I just kill myself.

If only I was a coconut.

:/

2011-01-03T20:27:00.002+08:00

I WANT TO FUCKING DESTROY MY ADRENAL GLANDS.
Then I won't be scared for my Malay result.

High School of the Dead

2011-01-01T18:28:00.000+08:00

This is a bloody cool show. The only anime I know with zombies. The worst thing is that only season one of the whole show is done and there are 4 seasons at least. It's probably because the artists have to draw so many droplets of blood that it's taking forever.

Okay, I admit. I'm just blogging to get an excuse to not do my homework. I've been cooped up in the stinking room the whole day now... a few hours... staring down at papers staring back at me. It's pointless I swear. I'm almost done and I will win the bet between Anisa and I. I will complete all my homework by the end of the week which is tomorrow! I'm going to complete Higher Malay and SS homework today. Hopefully, I'll have time to do English so that all I have left tomorrow is Physics. I'm going to study Physics tonight too. Finish revising as much as possible and then complete my revision for Physics tomorrow. On Monday, I'll revise through Biology and on Tuesday, I can officially say, "I'm prepared to go to school."

One last thing, I want chocolate.

Some of the best times of my life

2011-01-01T03:41:00.000+08:00

010111

2011-01-01T03:29:00.001+08:00

No one will read this but it can be a tool for me to remember.

It's brand new year now. I guess it's time for a change. In attitude, in priorities and in effort towards many many many thing. Surely as guessed, I will be spending more than half of my life next year on my studies. The first few months though will be given to band. My batch of band members must break the tradition. We must be the legacy. And after that, it'll be all mugging and nothing more. Maybe exercising too to keep my brain working well. O levels is a bloody big thing to me and I don't care what fuckers got to say about it.

Many things have happened this year. Some good, some bad and the bad, I mean stupid. Foolish, plain dumb. Other than that, I'm pretty happy. I managed to become academically better and finally after two disappointing years, I got back my Edusave Scholarship. This may not be a big deal to many people but I kind of need it to know whether I'm good enough. Sure enough, I have not been good enough among those asshole smart Cedarians in Sec 1 and 2. So I guess in summary last year was a pretty good year.

Special tributes to people who have made this year the greatest. I'll try to narrow down to only a few, or maybe only Cedarians since I'm around them for half my 4 years in my life. The people outside Cedar are awesome and great but there's just so many that I really really really care about.

Aqilah, Anisa, Hannah, Hazirah, Junie, Rou Hui, Samyata, Shafena, 3A and a whole lot more. The names I've listed down have been there for me through my years in Cedar and have been the best I must say. The greatest thing they've done for me is to accept me even when I'm doing crazy, stupid things and studying too much at times. I love them with all my heart.

And then there's one more, Maisarah. Its now... 12 years. She's technically been there for me all my life. Everytime I see her, it's as if I've never seen her for forever but its only been months or something. I tell her every single damn thing. She knows everything about me. She understands me more than some of the closest people in my life. She's like that one person that I know very well will stick around me for the rest of my life. Our moms may have a bit of problems with each other but whatever fucking thing they do to make you seem like I'm not worth your attention or vice versa, it never works. I loved you when we were 5, and I still love you now.

InsyaAllah things gets better this year and I get better.

Plastic made dreams

2010-12-28T00:09:00.001+08:00

I remember that picture. I was helping Aqilah do her Maths work because she was late to go somewhere. Rou Hui and Hannah just pulled me in. Pictures are awesome. Especially with them. And no matter how candid, they always look great.
I've got to get back to school to see people worth seeing.
Guess what, I've done my homework.
Not all but I'm getting there before the week ends.
I promise.
Band starts tomorrow.
The new year starts on Saturday.
School starts........soon

I closed down my Facebook. In fact, I just gave my password to someone so that he can change it and I won't know the password. At least people know that I still exist.

Hello, we are...

2010-12-26T23:42:00.002+08:00

Are you ever going to talk? It's like we know each other but at the same time, we don't. I r o n i c.

The sun'll come out, tomorrow.

2010-12-26T02:48:00.002+08:00

And yes, I am still awake. Good morning online journal named Through the Veins of History. I just watched funny videos and one, unfortunately, involving a little boy - okay maybe not so little... He's my age - who has this rare disease that only 1000 people worldwide has.

He so-calls lip syncs and he does look quite loony but it's sad how people give him horrid comments about his singing and lip syncing. It's quite mean for the fact that he already doesn't lead a normal life like the commentators do and probably uses Youtube as a platform to express himself. It's quite disappointing how cynical people can be these days and it doesn't mean I don't include myself in it. I have to admit I am.

You see, humans work in a very weird and, well, weird way. No matter how much they say,"Don't judge a book by it's cover," they still do. That's because the cover is the first thing they see and there is such a phrase,"Make a good impression." Usually the cover makes the impression, the first impression. Only after you read the book = get to know the real deal, then we start to think.

Bottomline, no one thinks before they do something. Only the cautious. But I have to contradict myself because I 'liked' a status on Facebook that said: The daring may not live forever but the cautious will never live at all. So in the end, what should we be? If we are daring then we are foolish but if we are cautious we're just plain stupid.

I hate things that relates to one another. It makes me feel confused. Confused about who I should be, what I should follow. I like knowing everything. The real deal about everything. Why it works that way and all. Usually what we learn in school we can find in Google but thing is, stuff like this, stuff like life, Google doesn't have it. So we're fucked.

That's why we know so little. We don't even understand the words we speak. I feel lazy to explain that now because I won't make sense and I'll only confuse myself further.

So good night, or morning whichever you prefer (:

Sometimes, things get out of hand. But we should always follow the signs

2010-12-25T22:48:00.000+08:00

I love this photo I took back in Paris.

I can post it everywhere and not get bored of it.

Pulcher

2010-12-25T22:47:00.000+08:00

Guess what, I actually finished Biolofuckgy and Chemisfucktry. Amazing achievement. For me that is. All I have now is an essay, two comprehensions, Physics and textbook questions plus a few worksheets here and there.

It's almost the end of twenty-ten. Reflection, I sucked big time this year. But I think I've become a little more focused with my work. Though I really need to buck up. I'm starting to feel dumber everyday.

I've been watching great movies. Eg, High School of the Dead - Bloody awesome anime that is. Best I've ever seen, and I have developed a liking for other shows too. Great way to catch up with media.

And I quote from

2010-12-14T21:08:00.003+08:00

Mitch Hewer favourite phrase in skins,"Ah, Fuck it"

Malaysia truly Asia

2010-12-14T21:07:00.000+08:00

Alright, so I ran off to Malaysia once Singapore got too bored. Hopefully I don't have to come back because if I do, it means school's around the corner.

Star

2010-12-11T20:44:00.002+08:00

I think the SS Geog homework is pretty interesting.

I am nuts

2010-12-04T13:43:00.000+08:00

Hello invinsible readers who don't exist.
I have not started my homework at all. I have been procrastinating. A lot. Lately. Oh fuck.

The band room looks bloody awesome

2010-11-25T23:19:00.002+08:00

Life's one big fuck.

2010-11-25T23:16:00.000+08:00

Okay. Hello TVOH. I know I was very pissed just now and I am glad I didn't really vent it to everyone because I would have regretted it. Lesson learnt today, be happy at whatever cost. Though letting out your true feelings is what Cedarians always tell you to do, to me, its just a way for them to know the latest fact from your thoughts and then exaggerate the whole story and form a gossip. It would hurt. So I'd rather be safe than sorry.

I need to hand in my Biolofuckgy homework by the end of this month and technically, I don't really have the time. I have 5 days until it's due. 120 hours. Subtracting time for band, CIP, Open House and procrastination, I barely have enough time. So I'm bloody messed up. Procrastination is really dangerous and its getting to me.

Library Admin Work (LAW-What fuck?). Bloody shitload of scores to send down. But, I actually like it because it can help improve the communication and also the bond between leaders but not when its fucking raining! So many scores to be dried, so little time. The rain better not fall tomorrow morning or I will be sad that my beloved scores are ruined and soggy.

Open House. Band is not prepared. But, hopefully, things will turn out well because we are bloody brilliant.

Other people use 'fucking' but the British, they use 'bloody'. Which I like.

You're still my friend

2010-11-21T21:18:00.000+08:00

I don't need you to be rich. I don't need you to have tons of followers. I don't care if the world is against you or if your boyfriend's being a bitch. I don't need you to have a thousand friends on Facebook or a billion pictures with so many likes. I don't judge you and I think that's the worst thing I have done or not done. You're still my friend though. I think of you everyday in fact. Maybe everyday. I don't know if you do too. We have been friends for years so I guess its only natural. I love you. Hope to see you soon.

I love Simple Plan

2010-11-20T21:17:00.002+08:00

To see you when I wake up is a gift
I didn't think could be real
To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three fold utopian dream
You do something to me that i can't explain
So would i be out of line if I said
I miss you

I see your picture
I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine
You have only been gone 10 days
But already I'm wasting away
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon
But I need you to know
That I care
And I miss you

The Breaking of the Fellowship

2010-11-20T18:52:00.000+08:00

When the cold of winter comes,
Starless night will cover day
In the veiling of the sun,
We will walk in bitter rain.

But in dreams,
I can hear your name.
And in dreams,
We will meet again.

When the seas and mountains fall
And we come to end of days,
In the dark I hear a call
Calling me there
I will go there
And back again.

Uh oh

2010-11-18T21:00:00.000+08:00

I just realised today that my juniors stalk me. What the deuce.

One day, in my late night dreams, I will marry Stewie Griffin in one of those countries having war (I'm afraid to name them because spies may come and get me!) so that after/during our wedding, he can bomb the world to create a big crater and leave us two standing on the only ground that remains standing so that we can really say that we are on top of the world.

All Time Low

2010-11-16T23:28:00.000+08:00

I got your picture

I'm coming with you

Dear Maria, count me in

There's a story at the bottom of this bottle

And I'm the pen

When the lights go up

Go on and play the leader

'Cause you know it's what you're good at;

The low road for the fast track

Make every second last

Live and let live

I'll be the narrator

Telling another tale of the Plemping dream

I see your name in lights

We can make you a star

We'll take the world by storm

It isn't that hard.

Take a breath

And let the rest come easy

Never settle down

Always want more

HA HA HA HA

2010-11-16T23:14:00.000+08:00

What is wrong with the world?!

2010-11-14T02:01:00.002+08:00

I shall admit

2010-11-04T00:06:00.000+08:00

I'm a nerd, and I'm proud to be one because I know it is good for me
I love Maths. Back to 1
I love Science too.
I have a fetish for A1s :\
I love music
And life is good when I make it that way

Don't judge.

I shall do what Suhair did

2010-11-04T00:03:00.000+08:00

A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1 A1

I hope it helps ._.

I sense something, something strange

2010-11-02T22:01:00.000+08:00

Kriste Eleison

2010-11-02T21:59:00.000+08:00

See on your way
Children forgotten and lost.
Give them a hand,
To lead them
To other tomorrows.
Feel in the the middle of the night
The wave of hope,
The ardor of life,
The path to glory.

Childish joys,
Erased and forgotten too soon.
A golden light shines endlessly
At the end of the road.

Feel in the the middle of the night
The wave of hope,
The ardor of life,
The path to glory

What a joke

2010-11-02T00:09:00.001+08:00

Knock knock,

Who's there?

Your friend Stewie...

And he's always going to be there for you

♥

Life

2010-11-01T20:45:00.000+08:00

" And we sing, sing without a reason,"

Time and time again it seems like everything is wrong. There are days when I feel like things can never get any worse. Truly, there are other days where I tend to wonder why they even exist. Every once in a while, when no one speaks, even during that split second, we start to think about ourselves. Only ourselves because in fact, we are selfish people so it's only natural. Its just that, most fail to admit it. I sit here, thinking about myself too.

I can see myself in the near future. Remarkably successful with many cars and a big house with a wide garden in the middle of France. I can also see myself lonely, confused with no directions in life whatsoever. Depending on my mother and father for everything that they can no longer give to me. Things that I should get for myself instead. Peculiar how life works. How we think. The choices we make. The kites we are able to fly.

I need to fly my cerf-volant. I need to be un cerf-volant. Because in time to come, I will realise that I need to open my eyes before I die. Open them to see everything around me clearly before I can't anymore. Look at the big picture from above. Look down and make that change that I want.

Running through my veins

2010-10-30T17:42:00.000+08:00

No words to describe

2010-10-30T17:30:00.000+08:00

I am studying Malay :D

School is technically over.

2010-10-28T22:56:00.001+08:00

Eng: B3

HML: C5

SS/Geog: B3

E Math: A1

A Math: A1

Chem: A1

Bio: A2

Phy: A2

Comments: Adilah displays a strong sense of responsibility and a high degree of emotional maturity. She demonstrates initiative in solving problems and takes great pride in her work. Adilah should continue to remain focused to strie for excellence in all aspects of her work.

To Mr Ang Kai Jie: I'm sorry that I disappointed you in A Maths. I know you expected me to get an A1 but I didn't. I'm sorry I blanked out and didn't read the questions properly and didn't have proper time management. I'm also sorry about letting a worm get me distracted from morning assembly. I'm sorry that I tend to sleep in class. I want to thank you for your nagging had actually made me relook into things. Esspecially about Biology and school rules and boys. Thank you for all your concern. Even though it gets irritating, I realise that it is sincere and that's more than what we can ever ask for. Thank you for all your Maths homeworks and papers and quizes that kill our souls. All in all, thank you for being a great E/A Maths and form teacher of 3A. We won't be the same without you.

SARAS: HAPPY HOLIDAYS ADILAH

ME: THANKS, SEE YOU ON MONDAY.

Contradicting? Yes.

I'm so bloody scared

2010-10-27T22:03:00.001+08:00

Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay Malay

Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu Melayu

):

I think I had too much fun that I forgot what was really important.

2010-10-23T00:56:00.000+08:00

Hello, we are the Young Veins

2010-10-23T00:50:00.000+08:00

So we got back a few papers today. I deproved in almost everything but SS, English and Malay. Is that depressing or what. With that, I am not looking forward to Monday at all. 1. I totally neglected Physics. I am prepared for a fail but I don't want one. 2. A-maths was just..

Mr Ang, "I do not want to ruin your weekends."

Spoken like a true hero. So therefore, we can infer what would be the comments that we were suppose to receive for the A Maths paper.

Brutal, Just so Brutal

2010-10-22T00:20:00.001+08:00

I'm dreading tomorrow. It's like dooms day just not as bad. But that doesn't make it good now, does it. If I deprove, I'll never see life anymore, not that I did before this. My next end of years is O levels and my next few major exams will be my most important ones. Technically, it is just multiple prelims. Oh fuck it. I don't give a damn anymore. I shall just live with it. All this bull shit about studying harder. There is only so much I can do. So much I want to do in fact. I realise I cannot force myself to do something. I must really want it then I will go for it. If not, fuck it. As I said.

PSI 108. Singapore's becoming more and more, like China. Air polluted, more and more China people here. Frankly speaking, I feel like I no longer posses an identity. When foreigners come to Singapore, I am just labelled as a Chinese because they see it as the most prominent thing in Singapore/Asia. To make things worse, I look like one. No matter how tan I become. One day, I'll be black. Hopefully then will people regard me as someone else. Will I get into jail for that? Well, I mean no harm to whichever spy dude is reading this. Highly unlikely but I shouldn't take chances.

I miss you people. Good Night

Somehow they are right,

2010-09-30T21:32:00.001+08:00

But I will never fucking admit it. Because I know it'll be over soon because I'll make it that way and I always make it that way.

I have been mugging like hell these few days. Everyone's thinking about getting retained and I am not even thinking about it. Now, that is how screwed I am.

Fucked up, just so fucked up.

I saw, RAIN

2010-09-18T00:43:00.002+08:00

Raindrops fell today. What a relief. I thought we were all going to die of heat stroke or probably a heat wave if temperatures continue soaring. Like what Jay says, with every good news comes a negative one. I had to crack my brain during the third period for the Chemistry class test. Somehow I blanked out and didn't have any idea what was going on. I think, I. Should. Start. Studying. Immediately. Okay, maybe tomorrow.

I have a load of homework. I want to study, but the ever piling homework insist otherwise. Do teachers think that homework is revision? Or maybe, do they think we have so much time that we can do both and complete both by their next period? Its utter nonsense. I wonder if I can use the word 'nonsense' in my compositions.

Saya patut tidur sekarang. Sudah beberapa hari saya tidak mencukupi tidur. I sincerely think there is something wong with my grammer.

CMD

2010-09-15T01:08:00.002+08:00

"You’ve just had almost the most imponderable joy of watching Charlieissocoollike, which makes you like, cool."

Its holidays with ( ' ) above it.

2010-09-15T00:57:00.000+08:00

OH, OH, OH MY GOD

Screw exams. Why must the British's system dominate our lifestyle? They left us in despair anyway. Unlike mid-years, I have showed no effort in trying to study for the upcoming exams. There's this high possibility of deproving though every neuron in my full-of-fats brain wants me to improve.

I cannot believe I just spent my time editting my already dead and rarely visited blog. Ditched the whole yearly blog system. I just finished my Biology homework, like finale, and now thinking about how the puppet's red hair reminds me so much of Charlie McDonnell. Oh Charlie Charlie.