Vicious cycle

Round and round we go. Never see an end. The circle never stops. You think you're back again. But you go on and on and on. 
Sunday's ending now. Monday's coming. More tests, more teachers, more lessons, more band, more practices, more scolding, more pressure, more homework, more stress
Less time.

Love kills more people than coconuts

Sometimes, I feel like I need to do something really bad but in the end, I never get to doing it. 

Sometimes, you make me want to kill you but in the end, I just kill myself.

If only I was a coconut. 

:/

I WANT TO FUCKING DESTROY MY ADRENAL GLANDS.
Then I won't be scared for my Malay result.

High School of the Dead

This is a bloody cool show. The only anime I know with zombies. The worst thing is that only season one of the whole show is done and there are 4 seasons at least. It's probably because the artists have to draw so many droplets of blood that it's taking forever.

Okay, I admit. I'm just blogging to get an excuse to not do my homework. I've been cooped up in the stinking room the whole day now... a few hours... staring down at papers staring back at me. It's pointless I swear. I'm almost done and  I will win the bet between Anisa and I. I will complete all my homework by the end of the week which is tomorrow! I'm going to complete Higher Malay and SS homework today. Hopefully, I'll have time to do English so that all I have left tomorrow is Physics. I'm going to study Physics tonight too. Finish revising as much as possible and then complete my revision for Physics tomorrow. On Monday, I'll revise through Biology and on Tuesday, I can officially say, "I'm prepared to go to school."

One last thing, I want chocolate.

Some of the best times of my life

010111

No one will read this but it can be a tool for me to remember.

It's brand new year now. I guess it's time for a change. In attitude, in priorities and in effort towards many many many thing. Surely as guessed, I will be spending more than half of my life next year on my studies. The first few months though will be given to band. My batch of band members must break the tradition. We must be the legacy. And after that, it'll be all mugging and nothing more. Maybe exercising too to keep my brain working well. O levels is a bloody big thing to me and I don't care what fuckers got to say about it.

Many things have happened this year. Some good, some bad and the bad, I mean stupid. Foolish, plain dumb. Other than that, I'm pretty happy. I managed to become academically better and finally after two disappointing years, I got back my Edusave Scholarship. This may not be a big deal to many people but I kind of need it to know whether I'm good enough. Sure enough, I have not been good enough among those asshole smart Cedarians in Sec 1 and 2. So I guess in summary last year was a pretty good year.

Special tributes to people who have made this year the greatest. I'll try to narrow down to only a few, or maybe only Cedarians since I'm around them for half my 4 years in my life. The people outside Cedar are awesome and great but there's just so many that I really really really care about.

Aqilah, Anisa, Hannah, Hazirah, Junie, Rou Hui, Samyata, Shafena, 3A and a whole lot more. The names I've listed down have been there for me through my years in Cedar and have been the best I must say. The greatest thing they've done for me is to accept me even when I'm doing crazy, stupid things and studying too much at times. I love them with all my heart.

And then there's one more, Maisarah. Its now... 12 years. She's technically been there for me all my life. Everytime I see her, it's as if I've never seen her for forever but its only been months or something. I tell her every single damn thing. She knows everything about me. She understands me more than some of the closest people in my life. She's like that one person that I know very well will stick around me for the rest of my life. Our moms may have a bit of problems with each other but whatever fucking thing they do to make you seem like I'm not worth your attention or vice versa, it never works. I loved you when we were 5, and I still love you now.

InsyaAllah things gets better this year and I get better.

Plastic made dreams

I remember that picture. I was helping Aqilah do her Maths work because she was late to go somewhere. Rou Hui and Hannah just pulled me in. Pictures are awesome. Especially with them. And no matter how candid, they always look great.
I've got to get back to school to see people worth seeing.
Guess what, I've done my homework.
Not all but I'm getting there before the week ends.
I promise.
Band starts tomorrow.
The new year starts on Saturday.
School starts........soon

I closed down my Facebook. In fact, I just gave my password to someone so that he can change it and I won't know the password. At least people know that I still exist.

Hello, we are...

Are you ever going to talk? It's like we know each other but at the same time, we don't. I r o n i c.

The sun'll come out, tomorrow.

And yes, I am still awake. Good morning online journal named Through the Veins of History. I just watched funny videos and one, unfortunately, involving a little boy - okay maybe not so little... He's my age - who has this rare disease that only 1000 people worldwide has.

He so-calls lip syncs and he does look quite loony but it's sad how people give him horrid comments about his singing and lip syncing. It's quite mean for the fact that he already doesn't lead a normal life like the commentators do and probably uses Youtube as a platform to express himself. It's quite disappointing how cynical people can be these days and it doesn't mean I don't include myself in it. I have to admit I am.

You see, humans work in a very weird and, well, weird way. No matter how much they say,"Don't judge a book by it's cover," they still do. That's because the cover is the first thing they see and there is such a phrase,"Make a good impression." Usually the cover makes the impression, the first impression. Only after you read the book = get to know the real deal, then we start to think.

Bottomline, no one thinks before they do something. Only the cautious. But I have to contradict myself because I 'liked' a status on Facebook that said: The daring may not live forever but the cautious will never live at all. So in the end, what should we be? If we are daring then we are foolish but if we are cautious we're just plain stupid. 


I hate things that relates to one another. It makes me feel confused. Confused about who I should be, what I should follow. I like knowing everything. The real deal about everything. Why it works that way and all. Usually what we learn in school we can find in Google but thing is, stuff like this, stuff like life, Google doesn't have it. So we're fucked.


That's why we know so little. We don't even understand the words we speak. I feel lazy to explain that now because I won't make sense and I'll only confuse myself further. 


So good night, or morning whichever you prefer (:

Sometimes, things get out of hand. But we should always follow the signs

I love this photo I took back in Paris. 

I can post it everywhere and not get bored of it.